we have officially lost it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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