best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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