Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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