when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
