dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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