I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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