he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
