I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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