from now on my penis is your penis
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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