you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
