So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
