hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
