Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
