The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
