i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
