what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize