Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
