turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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