Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
