he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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