I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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