Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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