someone get that fucking seahorse.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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