I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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