after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So vagazzling was a success
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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