I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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