I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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