So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
