Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
