i don't like sucking hair
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
