Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
