I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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