I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
