Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
