I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
