she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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