But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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