My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
