Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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