after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
we should paint friendship bongs
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
