it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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