I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
