Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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