Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
