yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
