All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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