"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
