Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
