I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I forget how to act sober
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
