trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize