i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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