Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
