I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
