how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
