pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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