if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
All the doctor said was why
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
