I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
