He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
