i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
