i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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