I want to have your abortion
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
