I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
