well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
