Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
