She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
